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The Waters Deep

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When Life is Hard

When Life is Hard.. I blog it.

Sad & Ashamed

thoughtful-ruby

I am sadly observing the happy reaction of my friends and family as our world spins out of control because of the man they voted into the Oval Office.  I am ashamed.

The last 11 days and the insane chaos that is happening in my country has literally made me feel like I am bursting at the seam.  I don’t know if I want to hide under a pillow or get a plane ticket and go March somewhere.  Anywhere.

I’m not just talking about the chaos that our new President and his band of nitwits has strummed up.  That is almost to mind boggling to process.

I’m talking about every person I know who is supporting it.  That is what’s making me crazy.  It’s breaking my heart.

I’ve come to realize that I really didn’t know 99% of the people I’m friends with.  I really didn’t know my family and maybe I really didn’t even know myself.

I am THAT person who is struggling to continue to be friends with the same people who are excited that Trump is doing what he said he’d do in the campaign.  He is doing ALL of it.  I had hoped, like more than half the country hoped, that he’d be like most Presidents and do almost nothing he promised in the campaign.  Not this time.  He did it all in 11 days.

And his supporters say… BOOM… MIC DROP… take that bad awful Liberals and Democrats who want to share our country with ‘others’ who don’t belong.  America First!  What in the hell does that even mean.  Do you hear yourselves?

To them I say, “How can you NOT see that this is going to hurt you too?  Not just (new) immigrants and Mexicans… but YOU.  YOU are going to suffer economically and you deserve it.  You are going to lose land you hunt and fish on.  You are not going to be able to afford all the material things you love so much more than human life.  Most of you will know someone who dies because they no longer have health insurance.”   Short sighted much?

He pushed America right off the cliff and I’m stunned by how many people jumped willingly.  Look at us fly.  With no parachutes.  To the bottom of the rocky canyon.

So what does a person do with all their friends who are happy about what he’s doing and will do?  Pretend you don’t know they feel that way?  Pretend I don’t care?  Doesn’t that make me a hypocrite?

How can we go back to that ignorant bliss?

I’m just not sure that I can.  I know I’m supposed to.  I know I should.

It might take some time.  I may have to sit back and be quiet and just observe for awhile until I can find that place in my heart where I love them anyway.

Thoughts

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My granddaughter tells me that she wishes she could have a different brain because hers does things she doesn’t like.

Especially when she’s trying to fall asleep.  She tells it to be quiet and it just keeps thinking about things like  Monsters and the Little Dinosaur that fell into the raging river with his Daddy, who drowned.  Then she gets all sad and can’t sleep because her brain won’t listen to her and it never stops thinking.

She is pounding her little fists on her forehead as she tells me this.   She is only 4 but can articulate and is insightful in ways that astound me.

I am 47 and have not figured out to make my brain stop thinking and creating scenarios that are completely untrue.

Turns out I’m not the only one.

 

The Bandaid has been ripped off!

And it hurt.

 

Like millions of Americans I watched the election with enough anxiety to wipe out a country.  I wasn’t going to vote.  I’ve never voted.  I live in a state where the vote for President barely counts.  But as I saw the numbers leaning towards trump I threw on my shoes and raced to the polls.  I was the last and only one there.  They were folding up chairs and putting away the coffee and donuts.  Yes, in my little town,  we get coffee and donuts when we vote.

I voted for Hillary.  Thinking maybe my ONE vote would change the world.  Yeah.

I’m embarrassed to say that I have been so obsessed with the Presidential Election that I didn’t have a clue there’d be so many local people to vote for.  It ignorantly didn’t even occur to me to be informed.   So I voted every other.  Give both parties a chance.  Democrat.  Then Republican. If I was going to vote blindly, I at least wanted to be fair.

And I voted to legalize marijuana.  That just seemed like good timing.

Went home and slapped my ‘I voted’ sticker on a bottle of wine and drank.  Stunned.  Like just about everyone.  Sick to my stomach with the knowledge that our world that we live in has just flipped itself upside down.  Some may be happy about that, but myself, I really liked the fantasy of a classy President and Family.  One that hasn’t boasted about grabbing women by their …. well, you know and without their consent (this seems like an important point).

That said.  Unless the moon falls out of the sky, he is going to be the President.  I think we can handle it.  I’ve been in BAD relationships that lasted longer than four years and survived.

Facebook.  That’s another story.  I’m not sure I can survive Facebook and the cruel awful generalized judgements and blanket statements that are being hurled back and forth between all sides.  Losers and Winners.  GAH.  STOP.  I can’t believe I’m saying this but I miss the good ‘ole days of Selfies and Recipe posts.

People be kind!!  Raise the bar a little.

Trumps  campaign caused people to fear each other, provoking anger and division where there was once the beginnings of love and peace but now he has an opportunity to change that.  And I hope he does.  Maybe the Whitehouse will make him a better man.  Everyone deserves the chance to change.

I hope I reread this post in a couple of years and am given the chance to eat my words.  I hope he really is Great.  For America and all its People I Pray he really is Great.

Inhale.  Exhale.  It’s all good.

inhale

 

 

Presidential Election 2016!

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Why can’t this process be quicker.  Rip the bandaid off already.

I live in a mostly  ‘Republican’ State that is extremely intolerant of any beliefs that lean towards Democratic or Liberal.  Of my 300 some ‘Friends’ I have 5 who aren’t Republican.    I think there might be more but they are staying quiet.

My Facebook has become a Dangerous Scary place.  Danger Will Robinson DANGER.

The few of us who disagree with the Trump Supporters meet in secret in PM messages, afraid of actually liking or posting anything even remotely supportive of Hillary Clinton for fear of having our head & limbs symbolically ripped off on social media.  The problem is real.

After ‘the video’ where Trump brags about sexual assault, my facebook feed was inundated with ‘I’m more offended by what she does than what he says’ & ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’  Memes.    As a woman who was ‘grabbed by the Pxxxx’ when I was only 6 years old, I’m offended that anyone would even remotely defend that kind of talk or behavior. Let alone every woman in my family and most on my friends list.  It’s beyond believable to me that electing a Republican for Office is so important that we can not only ‘look the other way’ but we can make jokes about it.

I feel like I’m living on another planet where opposites are now the normal.  What was wrong is now right.  What was right is now wrong and we should stop loving our neighbor because we might be deporting them.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED AND PLEASE MAKE IT STOP?

I have unfollowed so many people that my Facebook Feed is now Recipes & The Minions.  I don’t want to see the hateful posts or ridiculous articles from ‘either side’.

Chelsea Clinton recently said, in an interview, that it was important for people to not continue to be divided by this election, beliefs and political views and that whomever becomes president, we need to come together as a country.

That’s called class folks and It is the only way America will be great.

 

 

 

 

Pandora’s Box

cropped-baby2.jpgI sat at a restaurant and listened to a family member vomit racist comments until I was banging my head on the table and begging her to stop.  We were discussing the election.

This election feels like nothing I’ve ever experienced.

A Pandora’s box has been opened.  Will there be hope left after its closed?  There has to be.

Have we changed or have  these thoughts and feelings been lurking just under the surface, of so many people we know and love, and are now bursting forth in the form of offensive meme’s and hateful comments on social media?  I think both.

Fear.  That fire has been fanned and encouraged.

America won’t be made greater with more hate and venom.

America will be made greater with empathy and love.

THAT and a little less late night sharing on Twitter.

 

 

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